It All Started With A Bang
by Little-Retard
Summary: Pein was only going to get a sandwich, and I guess Konan was just walking by. I hope you brought cheese for those crackers!


I am so bored right now, that I am going to write this one-shot.

WARNING! Naruto is not own by Lin-chan, and this fiction may be filled with romance, crack, or sadness, whatever goes through the authoress's head at the moment.

Anyway, on with the story!

* * *

**_BANG_**

"Ahhh, Sempai! Why did you blow Tobi up? Tobi's a good boy!" An orange masked man, (Boy?) yelled out. Well you see this boy-man-lollipop, has once again annoyed his dear Sempai. Now, let's just go see what he did.

"Tobi, I am going to kill you, un," A very feminine looking man growled. Ah, well, this, this is Deidara, otherwise known as Tobi's (Insert Fangirl Squeal) partner, and Sempai.

"What did Tobi do? Tobi's a good boy! Why is Deidara-Sempai mad at Tobi? Was Tobi a bad boy?" Tobi asked confusedly. Little did Deidara know that 'Tobi' was smirking wildly under that mask. Yeah, he knew what he did.

"You know what you did, you idiot, un! You replaced my clothes when I was in the shower, and I walked around all day in this stupid french maid outfit, un! I had wondered why it was harder to put on my clothes this morning, and you know that I only look at my hair before leaving the bathroom, un!" Deidara yelled, obviously still in his french maid outfit.

"Did Tobi do that? Oh, Tobi's not sorry!" Tobi said happily. "Yeah, un, you better be, wait, WHAT?" Deidara screamed. 'Tobi' smirked under his mask. This'll be fun.

"Well, it was quite the interesting sight. I wouldn't mind waking up to that," 'Tobi' said in a husky deep voice. Deidara took a step back in astonishment. That... That was NOT Tobi's voice.

"W-Who the hell are you, and what have you done with Tobi?" Deidara said fearfully, even being scared enough. This is not Tobi. It was way too... Deep, manly, or husky to be the Tobi that he had come to love.

Wait a minute, love? No, he didn't love Tobi. Okay... Maybe just a little. Okay, fine, Deidara was full blown in love with him. He fell in love with him when he looked into his eyes for the first time.

Love at first eyesight... Wow, now that sounds just like the most romantic thing in the world. Now, what were we talking about? You know what, I forgot, so let's just let it be in Deidara's POV, alright? It'll be much easier on the both of us.

**_*DEIDARA'S POV*_**

Was that... Really Tobi? I heard the man chuckle in the deep tone of voice, and then he said, "I'm Madara Uchiha, the man behind the 'Tobi' facade, the man behind the mask if you will. Right now though, I'm getting on hell of a good view."

I gasped, and blushed, trying to cover myself furiously. What is wrong with this guy? Hey, wait a minute... What is that? "Hey, uh... Is that a, uh... Squirrel on your head, un?" I asked wearily.

I stared at the rodent on his head questionably. I think he just noticed it was there, since he said, "Oh, this? This is Fred. I found him on the way back here, and I decided to keep him. Isn't he so cute?"

Somehow that sounded so weird coming out of that man's mouth. "Oh, yes, back to the current situation. I am Madara Uchiha, and I've been eyeing you for a while, Deidara my one true love. You captured my attention from the first time I saw you, and I knew I had to have you. Oh, such a wonder you are, love...," He sighed, stroking my cheek.

Out of seemingly no-where, Kisame flew over our heads in all his naked glory, screaming, "I'm a flying fish!" I blinked a few times, then rubbed my eyes. Ooh, that would scar my eyes.

"I think I've been scarred for life, un," I said. Oh, my eyes... All of a sudden, he pulled pulled me into a huge hug, saying, "NO! You'll be okay, no more scars for you! It's okay Dei-chan, I'm here, you can cry, it's alright."

I began to cry. "Shh, let it all out," He soothed while petting my hair lovingly. "It's not fair, un! I'm always scarred, un! Like, the time when I walked in on Zetsu having his date with that flower, un. But it was really a girl name Sakura, un, and really Zetsu was raping her, so I was scarred, and then he went after me, but I stalled him by saying that Itachi wasn't looking at him right, but Itachi wasn't even there, but he looked and I ran, un! And that time when Hidan stole my nail polish and threw it away, un, and it was my favorite color, un!" I cried, letting the tears run down my face as I slumped against Madara.

"Shh, love, it's alright, I'll kill them both, anything for you, my love, it'll be just fine...," Madara hushed me. I cried against him for a while, until Kakuzu and Hidan walked in on us.

"What the fuck are those two idiots doing?" Hidan said loudly. Kakuzu looked up from his money for a second, then said, "Deidara's crying to Madara in a french maid outfit, which could only mean one thing..."

The looked at each other for a moment before saying together, "Capri-sun." Then they both broke down and cried. "I love you more than my money!" Kakuzu said while hugging Hidan.

Hidan hugged back and cried, "I love you, too, my dear love Kakuzu! But alas, we cannot be together, for then the Naruto series will not go on! You hear that, Naruto watchers? We can't be together because of you!"

Well, if that didn't break the fourth, I don't know what will. Hey... Is that Itachi in a princess dress, with Kisame with a tuxedo on next to him? Gasp! Princess Itachi and Prince Kisame are getting married!

"I now pronounce you, Man-fish, and Man. You may now kiss the ceiling!" Zetsu said, white side sniffling, while the black side was saying, "They grow up so fast!"

All of a sudden Pein and Konan walked in. Pein looked us over once, before walking out the way he came muttering, "Idiots..." Konan stood there for a moment, before finally blinking twice.

She eyed us for a second or two before saying somewhat loudly, "What are you guys on, and where can I get some?"

* * *

Don't blame me, blame the insomnia. I was bored, and crack-fics are just not my specialty.

How'd you like it? Well that great! Y'all come back now, ya hear? Well, no, you don't hear, you're reading this, no one can hear this except for me, since everything I type I say in my head while I type and before I type.


End file.
